Lunch Minutes

Attendees: Gigi, Chris, Tim, Jehan, Sharon, Diana, Sarah, Helena, Greg

Tim opted for the free lunch and went with the tacos again. His sloth like speed resulted in his food queue backing up. By the time he prepared his tacos and put it in the microwave to warm up, he couldn’t walk back to his chair fast enough and eat before the microwave finished the next set of tacos. What a dilemma.

Genius idea: you heard it here first. The next idea for a reality show. “Who Wants to Marry a US Citizen?” The losers get deported. Come on, that’s a genius idea.

Does anybody have an embarrassing spouse story? Someone’s husband/wife/friend was rear machine gunning last night? bupbupbapbap(I don’t know how to spell the machine gun sound)

Watch out, Chris’s F-tubes are going crazy tonight. Was this in response to the machine gun comment?

Some celebrity or someone was selling their kidney stones on ebay. Now who would want to buy that? Might as well go cheap and just grow your own. Sheeesh…….some people.

Tim’s slowness was brought up again. It’s all about risk vs. reward. Apparently getting hit in the head with a football is a good enough reward for Tim to run fast.

Gigi hit the top of her head on the stair railing and separately Sarah hit her chin on a table. I wonder what they were doing to get these head injuries.

So now this immaculate conception story. That would really suck, you get all the pain and suffering of growing the baby, carrying it and delivering it, without the reward of practicing to try and conceive the baby. That’s like having the consequences of Mexican food without being able to eat it.

Things overheard during lunch:
I got a long one
I’ll try ANYTHING at least once

Word of the day: OMAGAH

Attendees: Gigi, Chris, Tim, Jehan, Sharon, Theresa, Maria, Greg

What we all ate.
Chris – pepperoni roll. It looks strangely like a calzone.
Gigi – tofu and meat over rice. Why do you hate Mexicans?
Tim – taco stuff and meat turds. Yum
Jehan and Theresa – Filipino style nachos, where the stuff is on the bottom and the chips are on the top
Sharon – a grass clippings sandwich
Greg – restaurant quality nachos, made the right way with the chips on the bottom.
I guess technically we didn’t really have nachos since there wasn’t any cheese.

Cultural sensitivity memo: Effective immediately, please discontinue the use of the word “white people”. You may use any of the approved words, non-ethnic, bland or bread.

Maria, when you would like something, please use your words and ask nicely. Do not point, either with your finger or your lips.

We discussed Janna’s salsa and we were trying to identify the ingredients. It tastes familiar but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Is it tomato sauce?

And it was way too spicy for Maria “weak sauce” Fiske.

And today’s boneheaded comment winner. Chris Holt for his sign language comment. According to Chris, they should teach sign language. It’s useful. You know so you can talk when you’re underwater…….yeah. I find myself frequently underwater and needing desperately to communicate with someone. If I only knew sign language.

Attendees: Tim, Marcellus, Chris, Stephanie, Maria, Jim, Diana, Greg

There was a bit of a different mix of lunch people because we had a farewell lunch for Marcellus. Don’t blame me, I wasn’t in charge of the inviting. We ate at Raffi’s.

Because Marcellus didn’t want to deal with 3 people shouting out directions, he made the dark skinned guy drive. Thanks Blackie.

Alert: Marcellus hates Chinese people, oh and also fat people.

That is all.

Attendees: The whole team.

• April birthday celebration. Did someone say birthday? Everybody please come by Gigi’s desk and wish her a happy birthday. Just so we don’t crowd her, please come one at a time. Oh and stop by my desk for a little present for her.

• Somehow Gigi found out that Maria’s guacamole came from Traders Joe. We were all so careful to hide it from her, including not even telling her the day of the actual celebration. We need to work on our stealth-ness.

• Tomorrow at 3 there will be a little going away celebration for Marcellus. We were trying to figure out what food to bring, but his no dairy (no, eggs are not dairy) ban puts us in a tight spot. Anything that’s worth eating either has cream, butter or milk in it. Marcellus, if you’re reading this you should just suck it up and be grateful that we’re doing something at all. You will eat it and you will like it.

• Quick, some please check if hell froze over. Michelle ate more than Sarah. Something is wrong with this picture.

• And further proof that hell is a very cold place, Michelle took care of the quesadilla cooking duties. Where was Greg?

• We have set a new record for group speed eating. Fifteen people finished an entire meal in under 25 minutes. Amazing.

• Don’t take Jehan to a supermarket. The produce people will think that she’s shoplifting two cantaloupes and a watermelon. Use your imagination on where she’s hiding everything.

• Two word phrase of the day: NO CUPCAKES. Yeah, yeah, car accident, blah blah blah, it was your own birthday celebration. Whatever. We want our cupcakes.

• 971 WHAT?!?!?!?! ‘nuff said.

• Gigi poured Tim a healthy cup of weak sauce for turning down a food eating challenge. In retrospect, maybe that was a smart thing for Tim to do. People, I’m beginning my training for this year’s triathlon. This isn’t helping me at all.

Attendees: Sharon, Jehan, Gigi, Tim, Sarah, Greg

Now I know why I need to write these things down. We had a little eating competition and to make room for the incoming food, I performed a brain dump and now I can’t remember anything.

Speaking of the eating competition, what started out as a dare for Tim to finish off a fairly large piece of cake, turned into a race between me and Tim. I didn’t really want to do it, but I opened my big mouth and got sucked into the moment. I didn’t beat him, but he had a substantial lead over me.

Things overheard at lunch.
• He ate your nuts, so you have to eat his.
• Why do you guys always put things in my mouth? (not said at lunch, but too good not to share)

Attendees: Sharon, Jehan, Chris, Tim, Greg

• Two word phrase of the day: Chris Slow. I guess it really isn’t his fault, the three sisters put his faxed order on the bottom of the stack. You would think that a valued customer like Chris would get priority, but I guess they are too busy stocking the shelves with one oil filter next to on can of cat food next to one bottle of draino next to one blank audio tape next to……..

• Memo: Tim loves cake like his inner fat kid loves cake.

• There will be a workshop on cleaning the George Foreman (GF) grill. Please sign up for this training if you use or would like to use the GF grill. This workshop is in response to the overwhelming outrage at the most recent appalling display of cleaning by our very own Helena. Although I have to thank Helena for trying to clean the GF. She gave it a good effort.

• News alert: Jehan ate an entire sandwich. This is further evidence that she really is pregnant and isn’t faking it.

• Sarah was a late addition to the lunch room, however I had already put my notes away, and she really is trying to not make the minutes, unlike Tim.

The newest fashion statement. The utility pants.

Attendees: Gigi, Sharon, Greg


Welcome Sharon

Attendees: Gigi, Sharon, Jehan, Chris, Tim, Sarah, Greg

Today was a bunch of random stuff. Well, when isn’t the lunchtime conversation random?

Gigi is the big winner today for making the minutes. I only wrote down two things.

• I chuckle inside, to myself. As opposed to chuckling inside to you?

• It makes sense to me in my head. As opposed to it makes sense to me inside your head?

I had a two word phrase of the day, but I forgot it before I got back to my desk. That’s why I need to write these things down.

Oh I remember, Sharon and I are almost the same person, but for different reasons. She will confront people for littering because she is concerned about the environment. I will confront people because I like to get people riled up just for the sake of getting them riled. I say almost because even I won’t eat the skin of a kiwi. It make taste like steak, but I ain’t eatin’ it.

Michelle and Tamar made sandwiches for lunch today. I guess Michelle the “Internal Somali” will be complaining in a few minutes that she is full/bloated. In her defense it was a whole sandwich. Tim, in your case that would be like she ate a 10x10 at In-N-Out, or 2 5x5’s.

Quote that you won't hear at the staff meeting: "We make fun of you because we like you" Author, unknown.

Please someone else comment besides Tim and Chris.

Attendees: Gigi, Sharon, Chris, Tim, Sarah, Maria, Greg

• Today is two word phrase day. Two word phrases heard today.
o SAME BIGNESS
o PLASMA DIED
o TIM SLOW
o VOUCHER WASTER

• While Chris was talking about how he won’t use a container that was bleached, Sharon mentioned that hotel towels and sheets are bleached. That’s all well and good, but I don’t think Chris is planning on eating towels and sheets. Who knows what Sharon does, she does eat kiwi skin.

• Oatmeal. Some say that it sticks to your ribs. I think it just fools your body into thinking that eggs and bacon are soon on the way. That’s why you’re hungry after you eat oatmeal.

• You know you’re fat when…….. In our daily fat talk, we found that fatness is not either you are or you’re not. There is gray area. Some people are fat on the inside and skinny on the outside, some people are fat on the outside and skinny on the inside, and some people are simply fat inside and out. Michelle is Somali inside.

• Research topic 1: Maria was watching a show where some people don’t feel whole without amputating something on themselves? I’m confused, once you cut something off, aren’t you no longer whole?

• Research topic 2: Irish cream. What is the flavor? And please don’t say “Irish…..Cream”

Update: this is what Irish cream tastes like. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_cream

Attendees: Gigi, Marcellus (Chad), Tim, Jehan, Chris, Greg

Today’s minutes will be dedicated to Marcellus. He was bestowed this honor, or as he would write honour, because he ate lunch with us today.

• Chris went to In-N-Out to get lunch and was taking orders. Marcellus wanted chips. ???? Um, do you want Lays or Ruffles?

• After much confusion, we determined that chips are fries. So what are chips called? Apparently in foreign countries they are called crisps. So what are Cheetos called? Answer: Fancy crisps.

• The language lessons continue. What in the world is toe-mah-toe sauce? Hint: it goes on your chips.

Quotes heard from Marcellus:
• I’ll put my fingers in your thing and that’s enough

• Use Greg’s thing and plug it inside

• That’s a bloody game

• How long does it have to stay in your thing?

Attendees: Gigi, Michelle, Jehan, Tim, Chris, Greg

• In a late decision, we went to Costco. Being that Chris didn’t bring his big rig, we had to go in two cars. Guys in Tim’s car and the girls in Gigi’s car.

• Tim keeps every gas receipt he has ever received. That amounts to about 400 little slips of paper. If you ever wanted to know the price of gas on March 18, 2005 please ask Tim.

• We took a tour of the entire Costco parking lot before finding a parking space in BFE. I must say, there are a lot of cars in the parking lot.

• Note to self, if ordering a whole pizza, it is advisable to call in the order at least 4 days in advance because that’s how long it takes them to make the pizza. They tried to explain that there were only two people making the pizzas. You would think that they would know that people would want pizza around lunchtime.

• News Alert: Michelle ate an entire slice of cheese pizza. It has to be a record.

• I missed a lot while waiting for the pizza, so someone else has to fill in the blanks.

• Things that sound dirty but are not: Ghostriding the Whip and Gas Brake Dip.

• Miss Helen Keller has a new nickname. HDL, for Hips Don’t Lie. This will be her new nickname until a few months after she delivers.

• In a interesting coincidence, while driving back to work, we witnesses and occurrence of ghost riding the whip/chinese fire drill. What are the odds of seeing that outside of the Yay area?

• Two word phrase of the day: WHERE PIZZA?!?!

This didn't happen during lunch, but it was so good I had to share.

Words spoken by Michelle while she was at my desk during break:

• Girls need to have some sort of stimulation, because they need something to do.

• My knees hurt. It hurts below the kneecap.

• My throat hurts. Maybe because I swallowed something hard during lunch.

• Maybe I need to drink something creamy to coat my throat.

Attendees: Jehan & Greg

With the semi-extreme team out to lunch at King Taco and Gigi out sick today, it was just Jehan and I. Sarah decided to work through lunch. I guess that promotion does a number on the work ethic. I wouldn't know.

Nothing really stood out besides eating the just shooting the breeze, and I didn't write anything down. We did talk with Marcellus at length about his coffee habit and his inability to have dairy (no, there was no mention about if he could have eggs). He has over 10 cups of coffee every day, including a cup before he goes to sleep. I would hate to see how he would be if he smoked. We're thinking that there needs to be an intervention. Someone switch out half of his coffee with decaf. He buys the medium roast coffee from Starbucks.

http://www.starbucks.com/ourcoffees/product.asp?category%5Fname=Asia%2FPacific&product%5Fid=KDR

We also tried to give Sharon directions to the FGWells building where she has her SAP class. It's funny when more than one person tries to give directions. I could tell she was more confused then when she first came in. I think I won when I said look for the only 6+ story building on the lot that doesn't have dwarfs holding up the roof.

Quote of the day (by Michelle): I need to be stimulated.

No minutes again. I had to leave early, and nobody wanted to step up and post the minutes.

Sorry there are no minutes for today. One word....Musicland

Attendees: Sharon, Gigi, Jim, Jehan, Tim, Chris, Greg

• In a serious breech of lunchtime etiquette, Jim attempted to jump to the front of the microwave queue. Not only did Caryn put her food in the line, she was also in the line. This could be compared to putting the quarter on the video game. He received much grief for all in attendance.

• While Jim was speaking in geek there was a comment that some guys like to play girls. I really wasn’t paying attention, but that phrase perked my ears up.

• Today was a fine brown colored scavenger lunch. We had pizza, Pie pie’s fried chicken, biscuits and Gigi’s breaded fish fillets. Yum……

• According to Grey’s Anatomy. Paralyzed = Death. Therefore death = paralyzed = no thumbs=no rice for Filipinos.

• Backstory on Grey’s Anatomy. In the last episode there was a train wreak and a couple got speared together. They couldn’t remove the pole without killing one person. They chose the guy since he had less severe injuries. Moral of the story. If you’re on a train with seats that face each other, make sure the person across from you is hot. Thank you Sharon for that bit of advice.

• Post lunch. While talking about seeing actors in person, Greg said that he could be an actor because he has a big head. Take that as you will.